早上好 准老公 Good morning, almost husband!
早上好 准... Good morning, almost...
淡定一点啦 Oh, calm down.
这肯定不是你们第一次 This can't be the first time
醒来发现有别的男人在卧室里 you woke up with another men in your bedroom.
新婚快乐哦 Happy wedding day!
你们在这里干什么 What are you doing here?
既然你们订的是全方位服务婚礼 You pay for a full-service wedding,
自然就会享受我们的全套服务 you get our full packages.
接近了 亲爱的 很接近了 Oh, close, honey, so close.
-我们要穿过来 -穿过来 - And we are crossing... - We're crossing
放下餐盘 and trays down.
铺上餐巾 Napkin.
放轻松 好好享受 Relax. Enjoy.
4点车会来接你们 The car will pick you up at 4:00
把你们送到美丽的山顶婚礼会场 to whisk you away to your beautiful hilltop wedding.
天气怎么样 How's the weather?
我梦到下了瓢泼大雨 I had a dream it rained on everyone.
晴空万里 Dry as a bone.
今晚只有男人们会泪如雨下 The only thing it will be raining tonight is men.
我们迫切需要呢 We really need it.
萨尔有消息了吗 Has anyone heard from Sal?
没有 No.
我真心不明白你们为什么 And I will never understand
要请那个成天醉醺醺的老巫婆 why you asked that boozy us-hag to
主持你们的婚礼 officiate your wedding.
我们并没有邀请萨尔 We didn't exactly ask Sal.
萨尔 Sal...
我们有件很重要的事要跟你谈谈 ...we have something very important to talk to you about.
对 我们希望你能考虑一下... Yeah, we hope that maybe you would be open to the idea --
好的 我非常愿意主持你们的婚礼 Yes! I will totally officiate your wedding!
我的酒啊 Oh, my drinks!
我们本来是要劝她戒酒的 It was supposed to be an intervention.
■
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翻译：亲爱的小饭 冰蓝 Ethan-泽生 丁小七
时间轴：浓子 校对：olivia_xuxu 后期&总监：瓜瓜
摩 登
家 庭
第五季 第二十三集
喂 伴郎 Hey, best man.
你好 娇羞新娘 Hello, blushing bride.
我不太喜欢这个称呼 I feel like I should hate that more.
对 我也觉得你应该叫我"伴人" Yeah, I think I might go with "Best person."
不管怎样 我是想问问 Anyway, I'm just calling
你们准备得如何了 to see how you're doing.
我很好啊 I'm great.
真的吗 Really?
我 又是老妈的事吗 I-I-- is this about mom again?
我早就跟你说了 我没事 I told you -- I'm fine.
我母亲不能来参加婚礼 My mother can't come to the wedding.
她在一家瑜伽隐修所修炼 She was at a yoga retreat,
做一个战士瑜伽式的时候摔倒了 and she fell out of a warrior pose,
摔坏了屁股 and she broke her hip.
我们能不能考虑一下 Should we consider the possibility
可能是有人推倒了她呢 that someone pushed her?
小卡 拜托 Cam, please.
他们不过是一群爱好和平的嬉皮士 They were a bunch of peace-loving hippies
跟我母亲在雨林里共度了两个星期 who spent two weeks in the rainforest with my mother.
肯定是有人推她的 Of course someone pushed her.
她不来其实还让我松了一口气 I'm actually relieved she's not coming.
这样我的婚礼就不会出状况 She's given me the gift
算是她送的大礼 of a crazy-free wedding.
我知道 我只是有点同情你 I know. I was just a little sad for you.
老妈爽约了 Mom's a no-show,
你和老爸又几乎不说话 and you and dad are hardly even speaking.
别再说老爸的事了 Enough about Dad.
他不能理解同性恋婚礼 He doesn't get gay weddings,
我也不理解运动服竟然可以当便装穿 and I don't get track suits as casualwear.
我们能聊点开心的事吗 Can we please talk about something happy,
比如我即将去墨西哥度蜜月 like my honeymoon in Mexico?
对了 你最好看一下天气频道 Oh, yeah, you're gonna want to take a look at the weather channel.
你真幽默 Hilarious.
爱你 Love you.
我也爱你 Love you, too.
你今天会去拿礼物吧 You're gonna get the gift today, right?
我们不是有很多时间做这事吗 Don't we have a year to do that?
不 我有个老公要做这件事 No, I have a husband to do that.
他们看上了 They fell in love with
一个独特的绿松石色意式玻璃碗 this very specific turquoise Italian glass bowl.
我到处找 才终于找到一个 I looked everywhere, finally found one,
我们必须带着那个去参加婚礼 and we're not going to that wedding without it.
等等 我以为你会带我去看眼科医生 Wait. I-I thought you were taking me to the eye doctor.
他们说我不可以自己开车回家 They said I'm not supposed to drive myself home.
不不不 No, no, no, no.
我要把卢克从荒野探险那里接回来 I'm picking up Luke from his wilderness trip.
艾丽克斯会载你去 Alex can take you.
真失望 That's a bummer.
老爸 我深受感动 Aww, dad, I'm touched.
不 不是说你 我只是宁愿去接卢克 No, not because of you. I'd just rather pick up Luke.
也不要去看眼科医生 Than go to the eye doctor.
我 我喜欢跟你在一起 I-I love spending time with you.
别担心 你很有趣 Don't worry -- you're fun.
我老爸从来不承认 My dad would never admit this,
但当他想找乐子的时候 but when he wants fun,
他就直接去找卢克 he goes straight to Luke.
他们之间有种奇怪的默契 They have a weird connection.
就像蝙蝠侠和罗宾 They're like Batman and Robin.
老爸和我则更像蝙蝠侠 Dad and I are more like
和鲁思·金斯伯格[美国大法官] Batman and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
乖女儿 别那样 Honey, don't be like that.
你真的非常有趣 You're super fun!
你确定我不能去接卢克吗 You sure I can't get Luke?
我听到了 I heard that!
我们走吧 Let's do this!
你好 Hello.
老妈 歌洛莉亚想问你 Hey, mom. Gloria wants to know
她能不能在我和小卡的妈妈之后 if she can do your hair and makeup last
再帮你做头发和化妆 after me and Cam's mom.
她说没事 It's fine.
还有关于卢克的事情 我没兴趣听了 Something about Luke -- I've lost interest.
好的 爱你 再见 Okay, love you. Bye!
天啊 这是我喝过最棒的咖啡了 Damn, this is the best cup of coffee I ever had.
曼尼每周五晚上都自己烘焙咖啡豆 Manny roasts his own beans every friday night.
那孩子以后会独自烘焙咖啡豆很久的 That kid's gonna be roasting his own beans for a long time,
你懂我的意思吧 if you know what I mean.
我要再次感谢你们让我们住在这里 Can I just say thank you again for letting us stay here?
那一大袋鹿肉已经充分表达了你的谢意 You have thanked us enough with that big bag of deer meat.
妈 Hey, mom.
你能看到这个吗 Can you see this?
什么痘痘 What pimple?
我就知道 I knew it.
我不能这副模样去婚礼 I can't go looking like this.
婚礼上有很多姑娘的 Weddings are where you meet girls.
这场婚礼上没有 Not at this one.
-我们还是走吧 -没错 - Well, we better be going. - Yeah.
好好享受水疗 Have a great spa day.
男人才不做水疗 Men don't have spa days.
我们要去俱乐部里 蒸蒸桑拿 We're just going to the club, taking a steam,
按摩按摩 having a couple of rubdowns.
那地方提供黄瓜水吗 Do they serve cucumber water at that place?
他们有时候会做草莓罗勒汁 Sometimes they do a strawberry-basil mix.
-莫尔 -何事 女士 - Merle? - Yes, ma'am?
准时回来我给你系领带 Be back in time for me to do your tie.
好的 女士 Uh, yes, ma'am.
我很抱歉让你看到这个 I'm so sorry you had to see that.
看到什么 See what?
我们刚刚那样训斥了对方 The way we just snapped at each other.
你在开玩笑吗 Are you joking?
显然 莫尔和我正在闹矛盾 Obviously, Merle and I are going through a heck of a rough patch.
如果我那么友善地跟杰说话 If I talked to Jay that nice,
他会以为我对他不忠呢 he would think I'm cheating on him.
普太太 Mrs. P...
我预约的出租车没有来 ...my darn taxi never came.
我要错过我的航班了 I'm gonna miss my flight.
不是吧 No.
我只是 I just --
现在碰到这状况真烦 I don't want to deal with this right now
我本来已经很害怕坐飞机了 'cause I'm already so scared of flying.
我讨厌关于坐飞机的一切 I just hate everything about it --
除了飞机上的食物 Except for the food.
不知道在那么小一间厨房里是怎么做出 I don't understand how they get such bold flavors
那么丰盛香浓的食物的 out of that tiny kitchen.
海莉 你能开车载安迪去机场吗 Haley, can you drive Andy to the airport, please?
她不想载我去啦 She doesn't want to do that.
你懂我 Aww, you get me.
海莉 Haley.
我没车 是别人载我过来的 I don't have a car. I got dropped off.
我想我们可以开我的车 I guess we can take my car.
就这么定了 去吧 That's settled. Go.
好吧 Fine.
好了 Okay.
我们真的得赶紧 We really need to hurry.
别紧张 我们会按时赶到的 Relax. We'll get there.
你只需担心 You just worry about
被困在离地三万英尺的 being strapped in a giant metal tube
巨大金属管子里 30,000 feet in the air.
没错 我听到了 That's right -- I heard.
-喂 -干什么 - Hey. - What?
我刚想到一件事 I just thought of something.
我的头发今天会怎么样 What's going on with my hair today?
爸爸会把你的头发盘起来插上花朵 Daddy's going to do it up really pretty with flowers.
不是你吧 Not you, right?
不 是另一个爸爸 No, other daddy.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank god.
米奇尔 这不是我的礼服 Mitchell, this is not my tuxedo!
他们给错了 They gave me the wrong order!
那紫红色的礼裙都没让你看出来吗 And the fuchsia gown didn't tip you off?
我有九件这种颜色的衬衫 I have like nine shirts this color.
我现在穿的衬衫就是这颜色的 I'm wearing a shirt this color.
好了 深呼吸 深呼吸 Okay, deep breaths. Deep breaths.
我们有足够时间去干洗店 We have plenty of time to go to the dry-cleaner.
我们知道今天会有磨难 We knew that there would be a bump today,
这就是 我们要早点办好 and here it is. We're getting it done early.
这是我们的磨难 This is our bump.
干洗店 每周七天开放
打烊 由于家庭原因
好吧 这才是我们的磨难 Okay, okay, so this is our bump.
我应付不来了 I can't handle this.
我们五小时后就要结婚了 We're getting married in five hours,
而我没有精心裁剪的礼服 I don't have my perfectly tailored tux.
我不能去买一件现成的 I can't just go buy something off the rack.
我又不是超模辛迪·克劳馥 I'm not Cindy Crawford.
为什么把自己比作女人 Why a woman?
我只是好奇 I'm just wondering.
我们要怎么办 What are we gonna do?
我们可以吃东西啊 We could eat.
我们需要和店主取得联系 We just need to get in touch with the owner.
你知道他的名字 对吧 Y-you, uh, you know his name, right?
是阿齐兹什么的 It's...Aziz something? .
不 是阿米尔 Oh, oh it's -- it's -- uh, no, it's A-Amir.
不是阿米尔 不是 It's -- it's not amir, no.
是阿玛德 Oh, no, it's, uh, Ahmad.
是艾哈迈德 It's Achmed.
收据上有写 No. Oh, it's on the ticket.
我现在觉得自己种族歧视 Now I'm just feeling racist.
-是什么 -在这里 - What is it? - Here it is.
-是 -杰瑞 - It's... - Jerry.
-好吧 杰瑞 -阿马里 - J-- oh, Jerry. - Amari.
杰瑞·阿马里 Jerry Amari.
知道了 There you go.
在这里看得清楚些了吗 Can you see better in here?
好一点 但眼药水的效果还在 A little, but those drops are really hanging on.
我就像是从爆炸现场走出来的韩·索罗 I'm like Han Solo right when he came out of the carbonite.
真的吗 你没点反应 Really? Nothing?
我知道 是《星际迷航》 I get it. It's "Star Trek."
你简直伤透我的心了 You're breaking my heart.
在卢克面前说吧 他会很喜欢的 Save it for Luke. He'll love that.
我们能不能买完礼物就走啊 Can we just get the gift and get out of here?
好 但是先办重要的事 Right, but first things first.
我们来戴滑稽的帽子 Let's put on some funny hats,
然后装成没戴的样子 act like they're not there,
然后严肃地走来走去 and then walk around all serious.
这有什么意义 What's the point of this?
很好 你很严肃 That's good. You're nailing it.
喂 亲爱的 Hey, honey.
眼科检查怎么样 How was the eye exam?
超棒 Great.
我都看不清了 I can barely see.
我戴着一副超大的墨镜和很娘的帽子 I'm wearing giant sunglasses and a girly hat.
艾丽克斯和我玩得很开心 Alex and I are having a blast.
但你取到礼物了吧 But you got the gift, right?
人们是这样告诉我的 That's what people tell me.
亲爱的 碗 Honey, the bowl.
我拿到碗了 I have the bowl.
很漂亮 It's beautiful.
我们回家见 I'll -- I'll see you at home.
我有个想法 Hey, here's a thought --
既然你告诉妈妈你拿到了碗 Now that you told mom you got the bowl,
不如我们真的去取吧 how about we actually go get it?
好 别再闹着玩了 Yes, no more fooling around.
我们去买碗 Let's go get the bowl.
先让我们搞清楚睡眠指数吧 Oh, right after we find out our sleep number.
我儿子来了 There's my guy.
我还以为是我爸爸来接我 I thought dad was picking me up.
我也好想你 Oh. I missed you, too.
来吧 Come here.
你玩得开心吗 So, did you have fun?
是的 Yeah.
你最喜欢哪部分 What was your favorite thing?
我不记得了 I don't remember.
就是昨天的事 It was yesterday.
热狗 现在能走了吗 Hot dogs. Can we go now?
亲爱的 你要提前离开我真心抱歉 Honey, I feel bad that you have to leave early.
你今天错过了什么 What are you missing today?
划船 Boating.
还有时间去玩一玩嘛 Well, I mean, we have a little time.
你不介意在车里等着吗 You don't mind waiting in the car?
小卡告诉我 你和米奇起了点争执 So, Cam tells me you and Mitch had a little dust-up.
是啊 Yeah.
几周前 A couple of weeks ago.
那孩子会记仇 That kid can hold a grudge.
你去参加婚礼有点不爽吧 A little uncomfortable about that wedding, are you?
你知道我的感受 对吧 Well, you know what I'm feeling, right?
我觉得我在这问题上更为开明 I'd like to think I've evolved on the subject.
我们池塘里有一对同性恋天鹅 We got a couple of lesbo swans in the pond.
它们好像很快乐 They seem pretty happy.
杰 Hey, Jay.
霍华德 拉里 Hey, Howard, Larry.
这是我的... This is my, uh...
这是我朋友莫尔 他从密苏里州过来玩 This is my friend Merle, and he's visiting from Missouri.
是那个"眼见为信”的州啊[拿给我看] Ooh, the "Show me" state.
[密苏里州有个别名叫"Show-me State"]
别在这里说啊 Don't say that in here!
你怎么到这里来了 莫尔 So, what brings you to town, Merle?
我的... 我们的... Well, uh, my -- our --
杰和我的孩子今天要结婚了 Jay's and my...kids are getting married today.
恭喜 Congratulations.
真是太棒了 Isn't that nice?
新娘和新郎的父亲 Father of the bride, father of the groom
在结婚当天一起蒸桑拿 taking a steam together the day of the wedding.
是这样 Yeah, something like that.
我儿子结婚的那天 轻松愉快 The day my son got married -- piece of cake.
但当我送走我小女儿时 But the day I lost my little girl --
真是让我伤心死了 Ohh, that wrecked me.
今天你们谁要经历这种痛苦啊 So, which one of you has to suffer through that today?
知道吗 这里太热了 You know what? It's too hot in here.
-是啊 -我们走吧 - Yeah. - Let's go.
你真开明 Mm-hmm. Real evolved.
你的天鹅会为你惭愧的 Your swans would be ashamed.
帕梅隆搬走后 我才第一次发现 Well, I guess I first noticed it after Pameron moved out,
莫尔和我开始 and Merle and I just started
出口伤人 sniping at each other.
像今天早上那场唇枪舌剑一样吗 Yeah, like that bloodbath this morning?
我再次道歉 Ohh. Again, I am so sorry.
但你没法和莫尔心平气和谈事情 But Merle is not the type you can talk to about things.
我们结婚期间 他嘴里一直 I mean, the man's had a toothpick in his mouth
叼着一根牙签 我什么也不能说 our whole marriage, and I can't say a word.
你不能压抑感情 No, you can't sit on your feelings.
这样会爆发的 You will explode!
我每天都会小爆发十次 I have, like, 10 little explosions every day,
这样就不会大爆发 so I don't have the big one.
我家族里的女人 The women in my family --
有时候会对着丈夫开枪 sometimes, they shoot their husbands.
我们愉快地相处了48年 Well, we've had 48...good years.
我想我们没时间了 I...guess we're just gonna run out the clock.
不会 No!
你还是... You're still...
你还有... You have...
这态度不好 That is bad attitude!
你必须告诉莫尔你烦恼的事 You have to tell Merle what is bothering you.
他一点也不想听 Oh, he doesn't want to hear all that.
他变得自闭了 而且大男子主义 He gets all closed off and macho.
你在挠我的脚趾 You're ticklin' my piggies.
你会习惯的 You get used to that.
真遗憾米奇尔的母亲不能来参加婚礼 It's a shame Mitchell's mother couldn't make it to the wedding.
对谁来说遗憾 For who?
你们关系还那么紧张吗 Mm, things still rough between the two of you?
莫尔 我们关系一直不好 Merle, things have always been rough.
那女人永远都在抱怨 That woman never stopped complaining.
鼓足勇气离开迪迪是我做过的 Finding the strength to leave Dede is the hardest thing I ever did,
最艰难却也最正确的决定 but the best decision I ever made.
能娶到歌洛莉亚是你的福气 Well, you sure made a score with that Gloria.
绝对的 Big-time.
我打赌 I bet you landed her
你拿下她之前没给她看过你的臭脚丫 before she got a gander at those hooves of yours.
顺便说一句 不用谢 You're welcome, by the way.
你准备在犹他做点什么 So, what are you gonna do in Utah?
我和我女朋友 Well, me and my girlfriend
很长时间没见面了 haven't seen each other in a while,
所以我们会像两只兔宝宝一样 So we're gonna be like a couple of bunny rabbits...
到哪都粘在一起 just hopping all over town.
这是她吗 Is this her?
对 我的贝丝 Yep, that's my Beth.
她很漂亮 Huh. She's pretty.
没错 Yeah.
她是我的女神 内外兼修 She's the most beautiful creature, inside and out.
爱上她是我的幸运 I'm just the luckiest guy ever to get to love her.
好吧 她也许是真实存在的 Okay, she may be real,
但你太假了 but no way you are.
谁会说那种话 Who talks like that?
我不喜欢你这样说话 You know, I hate when you say things like that
因为你风趣 又漂亮 because you are funny, and you are pretty,
你也很聪明 有你自己的方式 and you are smart and in an original way,
为什么不能有人觉得爱上你是一种幸运呢 so why shouldn't a guy feel lucky to love you?
闭嘴 别调戏姐 Shut up. Be normal.
-我手机振了 能帮我看看吗 -好 - Hey, my phone just buzzed. Can you read it? - Yeah.
我不想边开车边看手机 I don't want to put our lives at risk.
是航空公司发来的 It's, uh, it's from the airline.
你的航班延误三个小时 Your flight's delayed three hours.
-三个小时 -是啊 - Three hours?! - Yeah.
怎么会这样 Ohh! Jinkies!
要不你找个咖啡厅把我放下 I guess we can just drop me off at a coffee shop,
我到时自己打车过去 and I can take a cab from there.
好 Okay.
事实上 我有点困 Actually, I really need to wake up.
不介意的话 我们可以一起喝杯咖啡 Maybe I'll grab a coffee with you, if you don't mind.
当然 Please.
和别人聊聊天 The more I talk to people,
我才比较不容易想象自己的飞机 the less I imagine plummeting to my death
在尖叫和哭喊声中坠毁 in a fiery spiral of screaming and crying.
这不像刚用了卡通人物口头禅的人说的话 Pretty dark for someone who just said "Jinkies."
看起来我们 Well, I guess we have
对"紧急情况"的定义是不一样的 different definitions of "Emergency," then.
我必须要说 You know, I'm just gonna say it --
警察局接线员的态度不怎么好 911 dispatchers have a little bit of attitude.
因为你要求他们派特警过来 Well, you requested a S.W.A.T. Team.
还有谁肚子饿吗 Is anybody else hungry?
米奇尔 米奇尔 Mitchell! Mitchell!
加急包裹投放
看我找到什么了 Look at this.
你觉得你能钻进去吗 Do you think you could fit in there?
我不会那么做的 I'm not doing that.
那婚礼上我要穿什么 Then what am I gonna wear to our wedding --
难道穿我的黑色葬礼服吗 My black funeral suit?
你想给婚礼定那种基调吗 Is that the tone you want to set?
你只穿去过一个葬礼 You wore it to one funeral.
而且你和毕·亚瑟[演员]又不认识 And you didn't even know Bea Arthur.
-我觉得我认识 -我知道 - I felt like I did. - I know.
是胡娇 他会知道该怎么做 It's Pepper. He'll know what to do.
喂 胡娇 出大事了 Yes. Pepper. Disaster.
不是什么大问题 只是山火罢了 It's not a disaster. It's just a wildfire.
而且我很确定不会烧到你们的婚礼 And it's most certainly not going to burn down your wedding.
-什么 -什么 - What?! - What?
会场旁边有山火 There's a wildfire near the venue.
不是吧 No!
是着火了 不过你放心 Yes, but it's fine.
罗纳多会群发短信通知宾客 Ronaldo is going to text-blast the guest list,
婚礼从5点提前到1点开始 tell them the wedding is being moved from 5:00 to 1:00.
上帝啊 Oh, my god!
别紧张 Don't panic.
有人能把那个该死的瀑布关上吗 Would somebody please turn off that wretched waterfall?!
立即关掉瀑布 Kill the waterfall immediately!
28%的山火已经被扑灭了 The fire is already 28% contained.
听起来不太多 That doesn't sound like a lot.
打扮好自己就行了 Just get dressed and look pretty.
我一个小时后派车去接你们 I'm going to send the car for you in one hour.
你疯了吗 Have you lost your mind?!
滚 你真让我恶心 Go! You disgust me!
滚 Go!
好了 Okay.
我们现在怎么办 Now what are we gonna do?
我猜也许 No, I guess maybe --
不 小卡 我不可能钻得进去 No, th-- Cam, there's no way I could fit through there.
我被你们两个烦死了 You two exhaust me.
什么 What?
我们一个小时后就得到 We have to be there in an hour!
我不能就这么去 I can't go like this!
瞧我什么样儿啊 Look at me!
我讨厌你 I hate you.
准备享用你人生中最美味的汉堡吧 Prepare yourself for the best burger of your life.
我们得走了 We got to go.
也许我们该再试几顶帽子 Maybe we should try on more hats.
你觉得我们还有时间吗 Do you think we have time?
坏了 It's not working!
没有桨吗 And there's no oar?
我们现在真的是进退两难了 We are literally up a creek without a paddle?
莉莉 莉莉 Okay, Lily, Lily!
你要按绿色的按钮让它启动 Okay, you're gonna press the green button to start it,
然后找到9-1-3号 and then you're gonna look for number 9-1-3.
然后当它经过你旁边时 And then, when you see it go by,
按红色的按钮让它停止 懂了吗 you press the red button to stop it, okay?
好了 Okay.
真高兴你在这 Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
每次陷于这种境地我就急得发疯 I get us into these situations, and I freak,
然后你总能解决问题 and then you always fix the problem.
我们每个人都有自己的天赋 Well, now, we each have our own gifts.
只是我比较容易 It's just it's easier for me
在这种情况下保持冷静 to stay calm in the face of --
天啊 天啊 天啊 Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, oh!
-莉莉 爸爸们来了 -天啊 - Lily, Daddies coming for you! - Oh, my god!
现在 莉莉 按红色按钮 Okay, now, Lily, press the red button!
我要打碎玻璃 I'm breaking the window!
放下它 Put that down!
谢天谢地你来了 Thank god you're here.
你们要闯进我的店吗 Are you breaking into my store?
不是 Uh, no.
你怎么会那么想 Why would you even say that?
我的警报响了 My alarm went off.
好吧 那是个巧合 Oh, well, okay, that is a coincidence
因为他的礼服在里面 Because his tuxedo is in there,
而且我们一个小时后就要举行婚礼 and we're getting married in an hour.
你简直是大救星 You are totally saving us.
我在这种情况下通常急得发疯 You know, I freak out at situations like this,
于是他不得不出来解决问题 which forces him to fix the problem,
-你懂吧 -我懂 我懂 - You know? - I do. I do.
我在这里急得发疯了 So, I'm over here, freaking out,
而他在别的地方解决问题 while he's somewhere else, fixing the problem.
天啊 我很抱歉 Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
也许那是好事 你知道 Well, maybe that's a good thing, you know --
两个人要互补 the yin, the yang?
随便你怎么说吧 杰瑞 Yeah, whatever, Jerry.
她从哪来的 Where'd she come from?
就因为她长得不像我们吗 Oh, oh, because she doesn't look like us?
-你这样歧视很过分 -杰瑞 - That's offensive. - Oh, Jerry.
我们怎么办 What are we going to do?
我知道怎么排到前面去 I know how to get up there.
-我看不见 -跟着我走 - I'm blind. - Follow me.
-我才不干 -艾丽克斯 - Oh, I'm not doing that. - Alex!
不好意思 谁能告诉我在哪排队吗 Excuse me, could someone help me to find the back of the line?
不不 你到前面来吧 Oh, no, no. It's okay.
-就排这里吧 -真的可以吗 - Go right here. - Are you sure?
有什么可以帮您 Can I help you?
我来取邓菲订的东西 Yes, picking up for Dunphy.
我叫人帮我留货了 It's on hold, I believe.
天气不错 我听说 Beautiful day, huh? I was told.
拿来了 信用卡支付吗 Here we go. Credit card?
我想确认一下 是绿松石色的吧 Uh, just to be sure -- that is turquoise, right?
因为我太太说这碗还有翠绿色的 Because my wife said it also comes in emerald.
没错 先生 您后面队很长 Yes. Sir, it's a very long line.
好吧 能给我摸一下吗 Okay. Um, can I have it for one second?
谢谢 Thank you.
但这感觉不像是绿松石色 Yep, that doesn't feel like turquoise.
你可以感觉出颜色吗 开什么玩笑 You can feel color? You got to be kidding me.
当你失去一种感官功能 When you lose one sense,
其他的感官功能就会变得异常敏锐 all your other senses become heightened.
所以我感觉你说话声很大 且充满鄙夷 That's why you sound so loud and judge-y to me.
我的错 先生 My mistake, sir.
-我马上就回 -好的 - I'll be right back. - Okay.
好了 Here it is.
嘿 他在耍盲人呢 Hey, he's messing with the blind guy.
谢谢你 不管你站在哪儿 Thank you -- wherever you are.
我觉得他并非真的瞎了 I don't think he's really blind.
打断一下 Excuse me.
我父亲去洪都拉斯执行人道主义任务时 My father suffered methanol poisoning
遭遇了甲醛中毒事故 on a humanitarian mission in Honduras
造成永久性的神经功能障碍 resulting in permanent neurological dysfunction
和无法治愈的失明 and irreversible blindness.
这对我们家人已经够难以承受的了 It's been hard enough on our family
但你这种人却使情况变得更糟 without people like you making it worse.
如果他感觉这不是我们要的碗 If he feels it's not the bowl,
那就不是 it's not the bowl.
对不起 I'm so sorry.
我去看看绿松石颜色的 I'll check on the turquoise.
好吧 竟然挺有趣的 Okay, that was kind of fun.
我现在就在对你眨眼呢 I'm winking at you right now.
这办法不管用 Ohh, this is not working.
我们永远不可能准时赶到那里的 We are never gonna get there on time,
我可是"伴人" and I am the best person.
天啊 Oh, god!
我觉得我刚刚在乌龟背上刮断了指甲 I think I just broke a nail on a turtle.
是你非要来这里的 You're the one who wanted to come out here.
是的 没错 Yes, I did,
因为我想跟我儿子共度一些时光 because I wanted to spend some time with my son.
你现在... You've --
你最近一直疏远我 You've been pushing me away so much lately,
我不希望你长大了变成那种 And I don't want you to grow up to be the kind of kid
不在乎妈妈来不来参加自己婚礼的孩子 who doesn't care if his mom shows up at his wedding.
你在胡说些什么呢 What are you talking about?
外婆今天不来 米奇尔觉得松了一口气 Nana isn't coming today, and Mitchell's relieved.
如果你错过了我的婚礼 我会很难过的 I'd be really sad if you missed my wedding.
真的吗 你保证 Really? You promise?
绝对的 凯特也是 Totally. And so would Kate.
凯特是谁 Who's Kate?
凯特·阿普顿 我妻子 你儿媳 Upton -- my wife, your daughter-in-law.
信息跟上一点啊 Get on board.
拜托 Come on.
你最近是什么情况啊 Then what has been going on with you recently?
总是闷闷不乐的 You've been so moody.
对不起 但我真的很讨厌每天去学校 I'm sorry, but I'm sick of going school
都听老师说 and hearing teachers say,
"你是艾丽克斯·邓菲的弟弟吗 "You're Alex Dunphy's brother?
真的假的" 就像我是个蠢货一样 Really?" Like I'm an idiot.
亲爱的 你才不是蠢货呢 Oh, honey, you're not an idiot.
我竟然忘了带桨 I forgot the paddle
何况我们昨天才学了划船必备物品清单 even though we just learned the boating checklist yesterday.
艾丽克斯肯定不会做出这种事的 Alex would never do that.
就算她做了 可能也会... And if she did, she'd probably, like --
我也说不清 I don't know --
利用这个钓竿甩出去 把我们拉到岸上 use this fishing rod to cast out and hook us on the shore
因为"我好聪明" because "I'm so smart."
然后她会把我们拉过去 And then she'd pull us in
因为她无论想出什么办法都能行得通 because everything she does always works.
天啊 真的行得通 很有效 Oh, my god. It's working. It's working!
我想也是 艾丽克斯 Figures. Alex.
别动 Don't move.
这会儿的光线真好 The lighting is really cool right now.
你在搞什么啊 别笑 Wh are you doing? Don't smile.
为什么 这是我的最爱 Why? It's my favorite thing.
不 说真的 严肃一点 No, really, be serious.
看向窗外 Look out the window.
看吧 Look.
这真的是别人为我拍过的最帅的照片 That is honestly the best photo anyone's ever taken of me.
谢谢 Thank you.
你介意我发一张给贝丝吗 You mind if I send a copy to Beth?
安迪 那个... Andy, um...
我之前读航空公司那条短信时 When I read the text about your flight,
也看到贝丝的短信说让你不要去了 I saw the text from Beth telling you not to come.
她并非真的是那个意思 Yeah, she doesn't mean that.
她说 "我们完了" She said, "It's over."
那可能有各种不同的意思 That can mean a lot of different things.
你的手机又响了 Your phone's buzzing again.
天啊 婚礼提前了 Oh, my god. The wedding got moved up.
我得走了 I have to go.
安迪 你确定要登机飞过去吗 Andy, are you sure about getting on that plane?
是啊 我没事 Yeah, yeah. I-I'm fine.
她偶尔就是会这样的 You know, she does this every once in a while.
她就喜欢跟我闹 She just likes the drama.
-但是我... -海莉 - But I -- okay. - Haley,
我感谢你的关心 真的 I appreciate your concern -- I really do --
但我这段感情断断续续的已经8年了 But I've been in this relationship off and on for eight years,
我很清楚自己在干什么 好吗 So I kind of know what I'm doing, all right?
谢谢你开车送我 Thank you for the ride.
那是我的必备生存工具 It's a tool of the trade.
车钥匙是写着"丰田"的那个 The car one says "Toyota."
我已经看到新郎们了 I have eyes on the grooms.
我就在你身后 I'm three feet behind you.
情况怎么样 客人们都来了吗 How's it going? Are people showing up?
一切尽在掌控之中 It's all under control.
惊喜哦 猜猜谁准时赶到了 Surprise! Guess who's on time.
天啊 Oh, my god!
萨尔 你怀孕了 Sal, wow, you're pregnant.
恭喜啊 Congratulations!
谢谢 我们真的好激动 Thank you. We're really excited.
你真肥 You're huge.
缺牙妹 Nice teeth.
托尼人呢 Uh, so, w-where's Tony?
你真是问倒我了 Oh, beats me.
我们离婚后 就再没跟他说过话了 Haven't spoken to him since the divorce.
现在是埃迪 埃迪 宝贝 Yeah, it's, uh, Eddie. Eddie! Baby!
过来 来见见我的闺蜜们 Come here! Come meet the girls!
埃迪 Eddie.
-这是埃迪 -埃迪 - This is Eddie. - Eddie.
小卡 米奇 胡娇 这家伙 Cam, Mitch, Peps, this guy.
这是埃迪 我儿子他爹 This is Eddie, my baby daddy.
你怎么不告诉我们 So, why didn't you tell us?
你懂的 Oh, you know,
我们想先成功度过前三个月 we just wanted to get through that first trimester
再向大家宣布这件事 before we let the cat out of the bag.
那是什么时候的事 去年夏天吗 When was that -- last summer?
你现在 怀孕多久了 So, y-you're -- you're how far along now?
大约四个月 对吧亲爱的 About four months. Right, honey?
差不多刚好是埃迪和我在一起的时间 Just about the exact amount of time eddie and I have been together.
我不明白 I don't understand.
4是这个数 对吧 Four is this many, yes?
是 Si?
你们好啊 帅哥们 Hola, handsome boys.
你们俩看上去美呆了 You two look gorgeous.
-谢谢 -谢谢 - Gracias. - Oh, thank you.
真不错对吧 跟普通婚礼一样 Pretty nice, huh? Like a regular wedding.
就你多嘴 杰 Good start, Jay.
莫尔 今天是你儿子的婚礼 Hey, Merle, it's your son's wedding --
你能把牙签扔掉吗 Maybe lose the toothpick?
我真是受够了你的唠叨 I'm getting tired of this nagging.
-我要抛弃你 -什么 - I'm leaving you. - What?
但我要先抛弃你 Not if I leave you first!
不不不 你不是真心的 No, no, no, you don't mean this!
别内疚 亲爱的 Oh, don't you feel bad, honey.
你今天帮了我大忙 You have helped me today.
谢谢你帮我摆脱大麻烦 Thanks for getting me over the hump.
你干了什么 What did you do?
哇 我们真的要结婚了 Wow. We're doing this
你准备好了吗 Are you ready?
我一分钟都不想等了 I don't want to wait another minute.
莉莉 开始吧 Lily, hit it.
数三下 帅哥们 On 3, boys.
一 二 1, 2 --
注意 各位请注意 Attention! Attention, please!
大火已经漫过高速了 The fire has jumped the freeway.
真的很抱歉 大伙儿 I'm really sorry, folks.
请所有人立刻撤离 I'm gonna have to evacuate everyone immediately.
这才是我们的磨难 So, this our bump.
未完待续....